So i'm going to spain in exactly one month minus one day.  I am so excited... but i'm not ready yet.

This semester has been a roller coaster of ups and downs and highs and lows.  It has been fun, stressful, exciting, depressing, invigorating, upsetting, but over all it has been a lesson.

I think i've learned more this semester about myself and the world then I have really ever before. Here are some lessons that I have learned.

1. Taking 18 Credits was a terrible idea.  I thought 18 credits wouldn't be a big deal, turns out i was not ready for it at all.  I have never been so stressed in my entire life.  I have never had so much different work to do either.  I've also never actually had a mental break down until this year, so i guess thats a lesson in itself.
2. Confrontation SUCKS. but its also really necessary.  No one likes to tell people that they're mad at them, no one likes to talk about their feelings.  Well i finally figured out that sometimes you feel better after you get it off your chest.
3. I've always valued my friends, but I never knew how much I needed them.  I have never really had the need to rely so heavily on anyone, but this semester I've totally taken advantage of my friends being there for me... and they have helped me more than they could ever imagine.
4. College doesn't teach you anything about what you learn in class... but it teaches you so much about life.  So yeah I'm here for the little piece of paper that basically says, "hello world, Cecilia is a legitimate person, so hire her!"  but news flash... apparently college is for other reasons too.  I guess this list of things i have learned kind of speaks for itself. 
5. Sometimes I have to do things because I want to, not because someone else wants me to.  When it comes to friends I have a hard time saying no... I will do things that they want because I want to show them that I care.  And sometimes that jeopordizes what i want or whats good for me.  and i have to work on doing things for me.
6. When I get out of here, I'm going to change the world. I will not be satisfied or happy unless i can do something that makes a difference in someone else life... and maybe thats kind of selfish.  But watch out world because I'm coming.
7. Learning from your mistakes is so important. Oh my god have i made mistakes this semester.  To say that i haven't would be a bold faced lie.  I have made so many mistakes in so many different ways.  I have learned about myself, and reflected on why i do the things i do.  And i feel like i have done a good job of changing things about myself that I don't like.  Part of being at college is figuring out who you are.. and i think i'm on my way.
8. Life is WAY to short.  I am almost halfway through college.  HALF WAY! and then the real world is around the corner.  I am 20 years old.  Thats two decades.  Its insane.  And I realize that my life is flying by.  Also after Roxanna passed away on Saturday at age 15, i realize that life is way to short.  you have to live every moment like its your last because you never know what could happen.  I don't want to take one minute of my life for granted.  You have to laugh hard, love big, and just plain live your life. 

So Spain is around the corner.  And yes, I am really excited and I know that its going to be so amazing. But i'm not ready yet.  I have done so much learning about myself this semester that I'm not ready for everything I know to change. I know that it will be one of the best experiences of my life, and i will totally embrace it when i get there... but at this moment i am not ready.